My Story of Redemption

Hi my name is Elizabeth Virgil. I was a homeschooled pastor's kid who loved Jesus my whole life & wanted to follow Him. This led to me "kissing dating good-bye" and marrying the first boy I fell in love with right after I graduated from High School. The first time he hit me was 5 days after we were married. Very quickly this boy I'd fell in love with was replaced with a monster, who constantly called me names, controlled every part of my life, expected me to serve him and when he was really angry, hit me. I was only 17 & had no idea what to do. I just knew I didn't want to become another divorce statistic, so I didn't tell anyone about my pain. Anyone, except Jesus. I would pour out my tears, frustration and pain to Him. He was always faithful & I knew I was not alone. As the years passed, and we had children I kept hoping & praying my husband would get better. Surely Jesus would change him and give me a happy life. I waited. I read all the verses about being a good wife. I knew that I couldn't control his actions, but I could control my heart. I leaned on Jesus & was amazed how He'd give me the exact verse at the moment I needed it. For years I fought suicidal thoughts, to the point that my wrists would throb like my body was longing for me to end my pain, but Jesus would comfort me & give me the strength to continue on. I knew in my core that God was good, and this wasn't the life He wanted for me, & that it was because of my husband choices that I continued to live in abuse. During most of those years I was the children's pastor at my dad's church. I had mastered coming to church as "Pastor Elizabeth" who had no pain or problems, so no one ever thought to ask if I was ok. By the time we had entered our 20th year of marriage & I was living in a constant state of fear & anxiety. I was losing hope as I saw no way out, but God had a way out! In late 2020, listening to a Christian Comedian's podcast, I heard God say "There are good men in the world, why are you still living with a bad one?" It was the first time I felt like He was telling me I could leave! Over the next few months, He continued to give me signs but I had no idea how He would set me free. In March 2021, I went to visit my sister in a different state who had just had a baby. As we sat there on her couch, she told me she knew something was wrong with my marriage & she wanted to know the truth. Over the  next couple of hours, the truth of what my life had been all came out. My family wanted to help, but we decided to wait a couple more months to figure out how. As she drove me back to the airport, we cried, but I promised her I'd be ok because Jesus was with me. I sat on my airplane for 2 hours in a snowstorm, until they finally decided to cancel the flight. I knew that was my "Red Sea Moment" and God was telling me it was time to be free! Two days later, all 4 of my siblings flew from across the country to go with me to confront my husband, and on March 16th, 2021 we packed up my kids & left. The next day we got back to my mom's & as I wrestled with many emotions, my husband text me "remember God hates divorce". I heard the sweet voice of Jesus say "Because of the hardness of their hearts." I quickly opened my Bible App and turned to Matthew 19, where I knew the "divorce passage" was. The Pharisees asked Jesus "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" Jesus explains that since the beginning God's design was for men & women to be one flesh, but that because of the HARDNESS of hearts, He allowed divorce. I knew Jesus was reassuring me that it was ok. You see, it wasn't me breaking my marriage vows, my husband had done that long before when he chose to emotionally, verbally, psychologically, physically, financially & sexually abuse me. Why would my Heavenly Father force me to go back to that life? He didn't. Now that I am free, I am done hiding my past.  I am determined to use my voice & my story for His glory! God set me free & I want to help other women find their freedom! That is my redemption story!